All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
