Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
