dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
