Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
