before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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