It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize