Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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