May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
