ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
