You smell like stripper and shame
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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