bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
