I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize