WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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