I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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