drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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