he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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