AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
