Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
