Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize