I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
