um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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