I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
