i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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