Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize