Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
