we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
