Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
