i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
