i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How does it feel to date your dad?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
