I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
