Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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