Buhtt sex?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
