I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
