I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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