I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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