Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
