I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
