Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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