Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
