Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
