3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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