Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
