He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
