Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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