wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You were trust falling into bushes
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize