I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
