Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
