Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
