three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
