do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
