Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
