I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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