I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
did you just send me my own nude
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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