why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
