Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
