i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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