I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
