There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
