3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
