if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
