Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
they're like a gay fantastic four
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
