you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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