How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
