Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
im on a boat
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