Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
