took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
